Celery

"I will tell you my favorite food of all time is celery. Honest to God my favorite food is celery. Straight up celery. I will personally consume the entire stalk of celery. At the Thanksgiving table I have the plate of celery in front of me." - Michele Bachmann, via Andrew Sullivan.

Today In Freaky Faith Healing

I've posted a lot of these clips, but this one might just be the gold medal winner in the Crazy Olympics.

Jeebus Will Heal Your Toothache

AUDIO: Crazy Eyes Prays For Anti-Gays

Pastor John Hagee: We're Not Winning Any Wars Because Of Pagan U.S. Soldiers

Caption This

Victoria Jackson: Obama = Hitler

World Net Daily today runs an editorial from former SNL cast member Victoria Jackson, who says that the president is exactly like Hitler. And he's going to kill you.

Hitler, like Obama, was a "socialist" who came from a dysfunctional family, had a communist father who abused alcohol, womanized and sired several children from different mothers, had a white mother, suffered child abuse and neglect, moved often, lied about his birth and heritage, changed his name, was a narcissist, rose to power with the help of disreputable men, had the Rothschilds as financial backers, stirred up racial conflict and class warfare, wrote a biography about race at age 35, followed up with another book used to launch a political career, supported infanticide (partial-birth abortion), gave big speeches in stadiums, promised change and a new social order, had youth groups singing his praises, used propaganda, used voter fraud and intimidation, controlled the media, created "crises," used a poor economy, hated Jews (Israel), pretended to be "Christian," advocated population control and euthanasia, socialized medicine, formed a private army and then … killed his political opposition with his private army. Well, I am Obama's political opposition. That's why I am concerned.

Liberty Counsel: We Vow To Disobey The Tyrannical Laws Of Obama And Congress

Over at Dead Jerry Falwell's Liberty University, law students are graded down if they fail to vow to honor "God's laws" over those of the state. So it should come as no surprise that the suspected child kidnappers at Liberty Counsel are today asking followers to "pledge their lives" to "resist the abusive and lawless regime in the Executive Branch and in the United States Congress."

Government exists to secure the civil rights bestowed upon us by God. Government can only do its job if it first gets permission from the People. Government is therefore placed under the control of the People and exists to serve the interests of the People. When any government begins to run rough-shod over the People, or when government behaves in a way that contradicts the will of the People, or when government actually destroys the civil rights of the People, then the People have an overriding Right and Duty to change their government and make it behave, or, failing that, they have a Right to abolish that abusive government and craft a replacement as they see fit. Simply put: In America, we do not suffer tyrants!

Via Right Wing Watch, here's the pledge.

"Choot-Spa"?

Gay Marriage Was Invented By Satan

PERRY BACKER: Congress Must Change DC's Name To "District Of Christ"

Congress "must and will" change the name of Washington DC to "District of Christ" in order to wrestle the city away from demonic influences.

Crazy Eyes Dodges Questions About Her Husband's "Ex-Gay" Therapy

Statue Of Liberty = Demonic Idol

From one of TX Gov. Rick Perry's BFFs.

PERRY BACKER: Japan Is Cursed Because The Emperor Had Sex With A Demon

Lou Engle: Abortion Causes Tornadoes

Those doggone tornadoes sure have a lot of causes.

In The Name Of Jesus

Email Of The Day - Eugene Delguadio

"Dear Joe, I see the Radical Homosexuals every day. They dare me to stand in their way. They laugh and brag that they have the power to pass any legislation they want. Now with pro-homosexual Democrats still in power, the Radical Homosexuals say nothing can stop them. I wonder if Sheila and the children should be here. It wasn’t all that long ago that I had to send my family away to a safe house. What does it say when a ruthless adversary would rather attack my family than face me? I’ll never forget that. My friend, without your support during this time, I’m not sure I will be able to manage things. I know God has not given up on our families. I won’t either. I pray for your encouragement." - Eugene Delguadio, self-titled Public Advocate of the United States, in a desperate plea for donations so he can stop those them there radical gays.

Miracle Spring Water

If you send shameless scam artist Pastor Peter Popoff some dough, mysterious strangers will mail you checks in the exact amount of your debts. The below clip is just the tip of the whackadoodle iceberg that can be found on Popoff's informercials, one of which I watched in full this morning.

RELATED: Popoff was famously exposed for his faith healing scams in 1986 when noted skeptic (and gay man) James Randi revealed that Popoff used a hidden radio earpiece to communicate with his wife while revealing "personal details" about ill congregants.

Quote Of The Day - Joseph Farah

"I like [Marco] Rubio, but he's not eligible – even though he'd like to think he is under the redefinitions of 'natural born citizen' by the press and the Washington elite. He can run for any other office – and I'd support him enthusiastically. He just can't be vice president or president. Neither, by the way, can the very adept governor of Louisiana, Bobby Jindal. He's in the same boat. He was born in the USA to parents who were not yet citizens. By all accounts, he's a great man. He's doing a good job as governor. I would support him for any office except president or vice president because the clear meaning of the Constitution is that you must be the child of U.S. citizens at the time of your birth." - World Net Daily founder Joseph Farah, expanding the rules of birtherism.

Today In Teabagger Tributes